38 weeks

So, I am 38 weeks officially today!  I feel so large and uncomfortable.  I'm so tired and if I walk around too much my legs get tired.  Sitting is a chore and if I lay on the floor, good luck getting me back up.  I'm so ready for her to be here already!  I went to the doctor Wednesday and she checked to see how dilated I was.  I had really pumped myself up thinking she would say a big number, (big mistake...huge) in actuality I was only "maybe a fingertip".  Crap.  I was really disappointed which I know is dumb since I still have a good two weeks before my due date, but I couldn't help it.  She also didn't tell me when we could induce and they said they would call me with a date but never did.  I'm going to ask again when I go back this Wednesday and hopefully she won't say some crazy far off date.  I honestly don't know how far past the 6th I can wait.  I guess if I have to I have to but it would seriously suck.

I went to check out the daycare I'll be leaving her at yesterday.  It's run by my old principal and it is right across the street from my school so logistically it sounds like the most ideal place to keep her.  However, it is going to be so hard to do that.  I wish I could find a job I could do from home.  Suggestions anyone?  I can already tell that I'm not going to want to leave her anywhere and just thinking about it really depresses me.  The day care was fine, I mean I didn't feel like she would be in danger or be given no attention or something.  I know several of the people that work there; I even taught some of their kids so I know she will be in good, capable hands...but being with me would be better!

Then I go on the Babycenter.com board, which I really shouldn't even look at.  I have definitely developed a complex by reading some of those posts because they give you so much to worry about!  I didn't even know I needed to worry about this stuff and yet here I am, worrying about it.  Kick counts, short cord, eating something wrong, low amniotic fluid and really the list goes on and on.  I've tried to just do the best that I can and hope for the best.  There are also some just plain stupid questions on there.  You'd be surprised at how many posts begin with.."I think my water just broke....what do I do?"  Seriously? (turns out it she just had massive amounts of discharge; umm excuse me while I gag).  Or my favorite today was "Is it safe to make cupcakes or would that be considered too strenuous of an activity?"   What kind of cupcakes are you making?  They also ask things like "should I do jumping jacks to bring on labor?", "Is it okay to wear tight shirts?", "can I use a copier/computer/cell phone?"  I'm curious where these fears come from.  Now I'll admit, I have my fair share of "irrational" fears but these are in a league of their own.  They make me laugh sometimes though, which is always beneficial.