Breastfeeding Baby Blues

So I really dislike breastfeeding.  I'm probably a horrible mother for saying that but it's true.  It's painful, frustrating for me and her, extremely time consuming, painful, messy, exhausting, painful, difficult to get the hang of, difficult to get a good latch, and did I mention painful?  I feel so frustrated that it's not going as easy as I was told it would.  You are constantly led to believe that breastfeeding is a wonderful experience that helps you build a strong bond with your baby, is such a natural thing, and will go smoothly but what you don't find out is that it is so hard!  It literally takes me an hour to for one feeding and then I'm supposed to turn around and do it all over again in an hour and a half.  I don't feel like I bond with her at all when she's screaming and crying and I'm trying to force her to latch on.  Then when she finally does it's always a bad latch that is excruciating.  Granted if I've taken my Motrin and Vicoden then it doesn't hurt quite so bad but when those pain meds are wearing off it's horrid.  I have read all that I can about how to breastfeed, we took a class before she was born that was supposed to help with all of these issues, I've watched videos about how to get a good latch and how to make breastfeeding easy and I am supposed to have an appt. with a lactation consultant today to help with the soreness, latch issues, and milk supply and if I don't come away from that meeting feeling much better about breastfeeding I'm seriously considering going straight to formula.  I feel like such a failure for not being able to do it though.  I really wanted to do this and I wanted to pump when I went back to work because I know how great breast milk is supposed to be for babies but I think formula might be better for my mental health.  And there are so many moms who don't breastfeed and their babies turn out perfect.  I just wish it was easier because I'm stressed enough as it is and I hate that the list of things I'm worried about keeps getting longer and longer.  I just want to enjoy the time I have with her and this breastfeeding thing is just making things less enjoyable.  :(